The Kids Are Alright

Month one of unemployment.

Week one of kids home full time.

Last time I counted there were 10 fingers, 10 toes on each of the two children, two parents still speaking, a mother-in-law and sister-in-law making themselves at home and we were all accounted for in the same house.

I must be doing something right.

Inspiration at a Pig Roast

Being forced to take the journey into networking on my own behalf, and not for a company, has proved to be very enlightening.

Over the past three years, when I'd meet a new group of people, attend an event, talk on the phone or go to the market and engage in a conversation, I would always think "Is there any way this person may want or need text analytics software?"

Crazy, right? It was my job. I was the evangelist, the motivator and the messenger for the company.  I was wired that way.

Now, when I go out, I have to figure out how to engage with people and not wonder about their software needs, but wonder about them. What drives them?  Who are they?  Do we have common interests?  Will I make any sort of impression?

Don't get me wrong, if I met my friends for a happy hour drink I would put the job behind - way behind - in the spirit of socializing.  But more often than not, the job would come up in conversation.  This weekend was probably the first weekend I attended a social event and DIDN'T talk shop or think about networking.  In fact, I listened. And I was so impressed.

My husband's cousin's son (got it?) graduated from college recently so Saturday they had some friends and family over for a traditional Puerto Rican pig roast.  Pig lovers, don't worry, I won't go into details other than to say YUMMY!  And while there I had two things to overcome: I don't speak Spanish and I'm not 20 something years old.

A lot to handle at one time.  Amazingly, neither of those things mattered because what I learned from those 20 something year olds is that they are paying it forward.  They are motivated. They are inspired.  They wear their causes on their hats, their shirts and their rubber wristbands.  They are laughing hard, playing hard, and willing to talk about dreams and goals.  I listened to their parents talk about raising children, finding jobs, serving in the military, and overcoming addiction. 

I don't think I realized how impressed I was going to be by the conversations I was about to have at that celebration.  I sat on a folded chair, in a modest backyard, among 99% Latino men and women playing dominoes and listening to Spanish music among Brazilian neighbors and Caucasian neighbors only a handshake away and I didn't want to leave.  No judging. No ego-trips about their job titles or how much revenue their companies made last quarter.  Just family, friends and talk about how to make it better for the next generation and wondering if they can make a change.

Such a cultural departure from where I've been.  And so damn refreshing.

Where the hell you been?

I'm not a very good liar. I was going to post something like:

Sorry I haven't been around. We've been vacationing in the South of France without the kids. Lie.

Or maybe:

Sorry I haven't been around. I landed a million dollar job that I love and was training all week to take over the world. Lie.

So, truth be told. I found an awesome gig - nonpaying of course - and in the 24 hours I have been involved, it has sucked every single minute of my time that's not spent cleaning, cooking or meeting people trying to find a paying job.

So hopefully you'll excuse me while I fit this into my very unorganized schedule and once I get into the flow of children home 24/7 and my willingness to volunteer on behalf of Boston's entrepreneurs, I'll get back to my regular blogging. Maybe. Lie.

Parenting 24/7

Ready for some honesty 101?  Here goes.

I'm approaching very uncertain times for me - because of the job situation we decided it wouldn't be a good idea to send the kids to summer camp starting July 26 through the start of school.  It was just too expensive and the place we use wouldn't allow us to cut our days to 2 a week.  It was 5 days or it was nothing.

So...deep breath...that means the kids and I will be spending 7 days a week together. 24 hours. Non-stop. No school. No camp. You're probably like "So what? They're your kids."  I love them. I have since they day they entered the world. No. Before then. When they kicked and squirmed inside of me.  But save for the first 14 months of my daughter's life, I haven't spent all day with them for more than a week.

That seems so odd to type.  I went right back to work about 10 weeks after Alex was born and hubby did Mr. Mom duty with him.  I'm nervous.  I've always admired Mom's who are home with their kids all day because I really don't know if I have it in me to be that type of parent.

So, Moms and Dads, lay on the advice and suggestions on how to keep your kids occupied during the summer months - I'm ALL EARS.  I'm thinking keeping the wine stocked for wine o'clock when Daddy gets home may be the first thing I need to do?

How you been? Good summer so far?

Hey there visitors. How's it going?

Me? I'm hanging in there.

I'd love to share some pictures with you from our recent vacation but I can't. You see, on Thursday, about 5 hours after my last and final meeting for my "old" job, my laptop from my "old" job that I was using and borrowing for a few weeks while I cleaned it and moved some files and did some final projects decided that since I no longer had a job, it no longer needed to work.

It quit. Kaput. No juice. No power. No battery. No reboot. Black screen of death.

So, all those pictures I had recently uploaded to post on facebook are sitting on that dead laptop. Along with my iTunes folder, resume, crackberry software, passwords, cookies, etc.

I'm holding off on buying a new laptop until work things are figured out and will be relying on our little netbook which gives me a browser and a trial version of Microsoft Office to post and stay in touch.  Excuse me if there a bunch of typos -this puppy has a keyboard the size of a slice of bread. We're still figuring out how to work together.

Hope your 4th was fun. See you soon.

The Definition of Christine

Christine is Latin for "Follower of Christ"........or a horror novel by Stephen King written in 1983. Depends on your Google results.

Ahhh.......that doesn't help.

OK, start easy:  Christine is a mom. Christine is a wife. Christine is a daughter, a sister, a friend, a cousin, a niece, a granddaughter.

That's all well and good, but doesn't define me beyond my relationship to others.  At times I stop and really try to define who I am to myself and get a little discouraged.  In a grotesque way I often wonder what my obituary would say.  "She was a nice person. Didn't do anything extraordinary, wasn't the member of any organizations and didn't have a passion for anything outside of a cold glass of pinot grigio with a few ice cubes."

But seriously, now that I'm going to be forced to talk about myself at job interviews, I'm starting to worry.  I don't want to let unemployment define me.  And I don't want to start a pattern of writing and blogging about how I can no longer "label" myself as a VP, or as a working mom, or even a stay at home mom, because I am in that in-between place right now.  But I have to figure out how I want to present myself to others in order to try and secure that next gig.

On the flip side, I have incredible pride in the fact that I'm raising two children who don't use many labels so why am I obsessed with my own? They've never used black or white to describe someones skin - they use light or dark.  We've discussed when and how to use fat and skinny and we remind them that people come in all shapes and sizes.  They don't see wealth or poverty in what someone "has" but understand that we do our best to help those who need some assistance, whether it's food or clothes.

So when it comes to trying to describe or define my own purpose, it gets pretty complicated. Do you ever think about your definition?  And is mine now officially "neurotic"? Could be...probably don't want to start off with that in a job interview, huh?

Natures calm

When things are beyond your control and it seems like you'll never get back to that place that was so familiar and comfortable, nature has a sweet way of reminding you to stop...breathe...and instills a welcome calm into the madness.

Sunset   June 28, 2010

Tipped upside down

I always proclaim, "It's harder to find a new job when you have a job, then when you don't!"

I guess I'm about to find out if that is true.

Sneaking around on job interviews and to meetings is so stressful when you are unhappy at your place of work. The lies. The fake sick days. Ugh.  However, when you love your place of work, it is just as stressful to find out that you no longer have that happy place. The shock. The sadness. The despair. Ugh.

My draft post for last week was supposed to be a tribute to my husband and my Dad for Father's Day.  Instead, that got dumped in a bucket when I found out that the world as I have known it for 3 years was about to change.

I explained to my children what happened so they wouldn't be freaked out when I started picking food out of the garbage and shouting (more than normal) "This toast is too damn expensive to throw away without eating the crust!" My daughter started brainstorming ideas. They are as follows:

Work at school
Work at a restaurant "You'd be really good at that" (been there, done that)
Work at the Mall (her favorite pick)

and after her shower last night:

Work at....uhm...well...I can't think of any more

Yeah kid, neither can I.

Onward. Upward. Outward. Chin up. Can't cry until they foreclose on the house. There are no tears in unemployment.

Keep the wine away. The pity party could get ugly.

You go get 'em little man

Congratulations to my snug bug who officially graduated from preschool.  Holla!

He started the daycare/preschool process much sooner than his sister did so he's a pro at ABC's and 123's now.  His thirst for knowledge blows me away. We love you, little man. Bring on kindergarten!

When life hands you lemons, squirt them in your eyes

What have I been up to the past couple of weeks?

Let's see. There's been a sudden, unexpected death. Followed by a somewhat expected death. Followed by an expected death. Not up for smelling lilies again any time soon. How did they become the dedicated flower of funeral arrangements? And must they be so strong?

Then I rearranged my schedule 100 times to accommodate canceled school days for my daughter because death #2  was a teacher (which still didn't allow me time to attend any of her services). That gave me just enough time to rearrange the schedule again the next week for 3 consecutive 1/2 days of school, a girl scout ceremony, preschool graduation (a very happy event, Thank God! Post to come soon.), a work event and another wake.

Somehow I managed to find time before my evening work event to travel into the Boston office only to be told "Hey, love the work you've done but the people who pay the bills want to make cuts and lucky you, you're first in line to go. We'll let you know by the end of the week." *mouth drops open*

Which brings us to said "end of week" and I am taking more time off so my children aren't celebrating their last of day of school only to be dumped right back into a pseudo-summer session the very next day until camp starts June 28.  Should be lovely to coordinate vacation days with them and a pink slip.  Drink much? I think I will, thanks.

So hand over the lemons.  A direct shot in the eyes would be much more pleasant right about now than what I've been up to.