Bubba

We named him Coach. But we called him Bubba.

In fact any variation of Bubba would do.  Bubba-licious. Bubba-lips (don't ask). Bubba-biskie (I think that was biscuit gone bad). Bubba-do.

And lately, at the oddest moments, I've found myself shedding tears for my little friend. Not totally sure why, as we had to say our good-bye over 3 months ago. But my guess is that the love you hold in your heart doesn't always break at once, but breaks in pieces over time.

I miss my little office mate, vacuum cleaner, protector, and snuggle buddy. This tear is for you, Bubba. May there be no snow this winter in doggy heaven. You deserve that much.

What I learned at Jury Duty 2012

1. There are plenty of parking lots near the Lawrence Superior Court. There are not, however, a lot of attendants at those lots at 8:15 so I was quite surprised that a local officer didn't pull me over for violation of entering and exiting too many parking lots in a state of confusion.

2. People snore. Especially the ones that fall asleep in the jury waiting room. They snore loudly.

3. When they tell you to shut off your cell phones, that's not for everyone. For example, the super important lady in the pink shirt and the preppy guy in the plaid shirt don't count. They get to keep theirs on...while the rest of us suffer through offline time itching to tweet "He looks guilty" as we enter the courtroom.

4. I crack under the pressure of a court room, judge, attorneys, stenographer and microphone. Even I didn't understand my answers. Do I or don't I support drinking and driving? Yes, I have...wait, what?? I DON'T KNOW!? Can I phone a friend?

5. I secretly wanted to get picked. And was quite pissed when I wasn't...still feeling rejected even though the judge told me not to feel that way. Sniff.

6. Court Officers can be funny...and nice...and accommodating. And they don't all look like Bull from  Night Court...just a few of them do.

7. Our judge played tennis this weekend. He told us.

8. I secretly didn't want to get picked. And was quite happy to walk out the door and turn my cell phone back on. Disregard #5

9.  You can hook a DVD player into an old VHS player connected to a 1982 TV on a 1974 metal TV stand from the local elementary school to watch the orientation DVD. It was amazing.

10.  I am in awe of our judicial system. It could have been my abundance of American pride with the kick off of the Olympics occurring the same week as my jury duty, but I wanted to lead a sing along of God Bless America in the court room. Plus that would have guaranteed my dismissal. But I refrained.

I didn't forget about you

Thought I forgot about you, right? No....I didn't.  I just went on a little vacation with the family. It's our annual pilgrimage to the White Mountains of NH. We've been heading north for 6 years and when asked if they wanted to try something new this year, the kids gave us a resounding "NO!", so off we went to bear country (sadly didn't see any bears this year).

But now that I'm back I thought I'd look up the word "vacation"...see what is says.

va·ca·tion/vāˈkāSHən/

Noun:

An extended period of recreation, esp. one spent away from home or in traveling.

I was extremely pleased to see that there were several words missing from the official definition, such as "stress-free", "relaxing" and "peaceful". It did not read "extended period of joyful, tear-free recreation", much to my delight.

You see, I love getting away and letting someone else cook my meals and make my bed, but nothing about vacation sends me into a relaxed state. I seem to worry more when I'm away with the family than I do when we are  home.

Where will we eat breakfast?
Where are we headed next?
Have they had enough water to drink?
What time does that park close?
Do we need dinner reservations?
Who will share a bed with Alex, the world's most violent sleeper?

And trust me, the list of worry doesn't end there.

I will say that our vacation definition does include words the official one forgot, like "fun", "spontaneous", "memory-making" and "priceless"! Because after all the bickering, worrying and a few tears, we are so fortunate to be together exploring new places and revisiting some old. And in the end, the time "spent away from home" as a family is what makes it so special.

Now, in the words of a Mom right after a vacation, go pick up your dirty clothes and clean your room - vacation is OVER!

The lovely ladies in my life!

We had drama last night with little guy but he's over it. He had a fun day at camp and loves his life again. Sadness averted for now!

But it really got me thinking about my girlfriends. And ironically, one of the women who inspires me to be the type of Mom that I am today recently moved to Arizona and is back for a visit and we had dinner tonight - and I realized how much I missed her!

As women we come across those straight shooters that tell it like it is;

"That shirt makes you look fat." 
"What were you thinking with that hair cut?" 
"Time to use face cream."

But she isn't one of those shooters, she's the type of shooter that supports your decisions, encourages you to achieve and makes you believe you're doing the best you can, given what you are handed in life. And I love that! Because that's the type of girlfriend I want to be. 

I would never want to be remembered as the friend that points out your weaknesses, but rather the friend that reminds you of your strengths.I'd want to support your decisions no matter how hard they are for you, or how different they are from the decision I'd make. Because at the end of the day, friends are there to lift you up, make you laugh, remind you of the beauty you often forget is there, and support your dreams...no matter how crazy they may be. I hope each day I can give that back to the women I know.

And with that, I want to thank the lovely ladies in my life that laugh at my silly stories, tolerate my insecurities, and remind me that no matter how much I doubt myself that I'm doing an okay job.  YOU keep me grounded and help me get through the crap. And whether we've known each other 40 years, 20 years, 10 years or 5...there is a special place in my world for all of you and that is so freaking cool!

xo

Seeking Best Friend for Little Guy

I am a girl. I love my girlfriends like they are my sisters. That's the way it has always been. I have bonds that go back almost 40 years and that simple fact amazes me every time I think of it.

I am not a boy. I don't completely understand the role that boys play in each others lives. I do know that my son is capable of inserting himself into most groups without hesitation and will emerge with a "friend" or two by his side.

Take baseball camp last month, for example. It was 1,000 degrees out when a group of kids, ages 6 - 12 were thrown out onto a scorching hot baseball field to learn some basic drills. Within a few minutes of learning how to karaoke (a dance-like skill I mastered quickly myself, but I'm sure I'm calling it by the wrong name) he was laughing and chatting with the boys in his group. For me, that was mission accomplished! He is capable of making friends and creating bonds.  Or so it seemed.

Flash forward to tonight, when I found him fixing a Lego in his room and I quietly reminded him, "It's bed time, not time for Legos" at which point he dropped his Lego and exclaimed in tears, "I hate my life!"

Ouch. It's just a Lego. You can fix it in the morning. With a few questions and some gentle coaxing, the real underlying issue is that he doesn't feel like he has any friends. A best friend, to be exact.

It never occured to me that something like that would be important to him at 7 years old. He had a play date with a boy from his school today, and other than the adrenaline kicking into overdrive to the point I had to remind him that basketball on rollerblades is a sport for outside the house, they seemed to have a lot of fun. 

He rides off on his bike every afternoon to play with the kids in the neighborhood (which is a pretty even mix of boys and girls all near to his age) and never mentions being left out or left behind. But his sister has a BFF...someone that comes to the door looking for her. Someone that schemes about sleepovers, the next time they'll see each other, and how much they'll miss each other when they're apart. He doesn't. And it just became clear how important that could be for boys, too.

Now what's a mother to do? Seeking a best friend for my little guy. Inquire within.

The mojo has returned

You know what's awesome? I figured out how to login to Blogger with my new persona without having to keep logging in and out as the old persona - which is what was really preventing me from blogging!

Ok, which was deterring me from blogging. 

Ok, ok...which was my excuse for not blogging.

It feels great to be typing so I'd just like to wish you and yours a Happy July 4th and I'll be seeing you on the Blogger!

It has been a long, long journey

Oh, this blogging trip. What a long journey.

First was the road of trepidation.
Then the street of uncertainty.
Which lead us down a dead end of ideas.

But I hooked myself up to a new wagon and decided I needed to "make" time to put the thoughts in my head, and at my fingertips, down on paper (which is so not true because this is not paper, but "down on computer screen" doesn't sound right!).

Our world over the past 9 months has been full of milestones and adventures. A winter that never arrived (fine by me!). End of another school year, beginning of another summer.

The hardest hurdle was the loss of this awesome little guy:

I still tear up when I discover pictures like this on the computer. He loved Christmas chaos and this year will be especially difficult when Santa doesn't leave a stocking for our four legged friend. It will be a while before we think about adopting another dog. We miss you Coach.

On a happier note, Abby isn't terrified of the dentist any longer. What? That's not a big enough deal to blog about? I totally disagree...because back then, I never thought we'd be in and out of a dentist office in 30 minutes! Yesterday she proved me wrong. She is turning into a lovely  young lady who will be 10 this year and that just freaks me out the point that I am unable to catch my breath....breathe, breathe. Where does time go??

And our big man Alex has the attitude of a 14 year old but the coordination of a 7 year old which is proving to be interesting. Slow down little man...you'll be a "big kid" soon enough. He has taken a liking to hockey and baseball and was fortunate enough to go to baseball camp for a week in June when the temperatures hit 100 degrees. Such a lucky kid --- not! What are the odds that the "early" week of camp would lend itself to late July temps? He was a trooper and never asked to skip it or quit. I didn't relax for a moment, terrified he'd pass out in left field. It.Was.So.Hot!

Hubby got a well deserved pat-on-the-back at work. He's worked hard for 6 years and it was dutifully recognized. I'm so proud of him for his display of work ethic which I hope the kids understand and emulate one day - because right now they run far way from anything that looks or smells like hard work!

Me? I'm just me...working with some great clients with this great team. What started out as a "let's see how it goes" has turned into a "let's see how it grows".  My business partner and colleagues are amazing. Every week is a new adventure and opportunity so I am just blessed to be a part of it.

So, how are you?? We should get coffee some time. OK, that's a lie.  I don't drink coffee, but I never pass up a glass of wine so let's make time, shall we?

Best Tooth Puller Ever

Thank goodness the fear of pulling teeth is not genetic. He'll be just fine ripping the rest out of his mouth.

It's just like labor pain

Ah, the emergency room. I have visited very few times in my life - thankfully - and our children (hear me knocking on wood LOUDLY) have escaped the repeated visits that often come with childhood accidents.

Hubby...well...he's an ER master. Sprained ankle. Pneumonia. Asthma attack. Kidney stone.

He's a do-it-yourself kind of ER guy, too. He often drives himself. Doesn't feel the need for anyone to be by his side while he's waiting. Always seems to feel like a million bucks right after he's checked in and the pain meds kick in - but who doesn't?

This morning at 4:30 a.m. while he was apologizing for waking me up, he announced he was in incredible pain and was driving to the ER. My thought was: pain + driving = bad idea.  I offered repeatedly to call for an ambulance but he said no. Having two children sleeping soundly doesn't exactly lend itself to offering to drive him there - although the hospital is less than a mile away so even a drive and dump at the door would have had me missing for less than 5 mins (NO, I would NEVER leave my children alone! On purpose, that is...)

As he described his ailments I thought, kidney stones or appendicitis. And after walking him to the door to wish him luck on his drive to the ER, I quietly did a search online and, once again, earned my WebMD medical degree.

I lay awake waiting for the call that he arrived safely...or that he was being sent home...or admitted....any call at all. And sure enough that came a little after 5 a.m. There was an IV, pain meds and he was just going to wait for the Dr. I rolled over after we hung up and pretended I went back to sleep - didn't happen. The WebMD site had me second guessing my diagnosis so I tossed and turned.

By the time I was able to get to the hospital after dropping the kids off at school and touching base with the awesome support network we have there, they were whisking him away for a cat scan. Sure enough it was a  kidney stone that would now float around in his bladder until it decided to come out. The kinda hot nice male nurse explained what was going on and offered his brilliant analogy so I could better understand the situation....

"When the stone is passing through your kidney, it is similar to labor pains."

I was going to offer up, "Well then hubby has 39 more hours of kidney stones to go, because I was in labor for 42 hours with my first child...."

But then I quickly decided it really wasn't about me, now was it...so I nodded and bit my tongue...for once. The nice thing about this ER visit is our hospital just unveiled like a 10 trillion dollar ER renovation (ok, not 10 trillion dollars) so we got to check it out. Very nice. Just missing Diet Coke in the vending machine - so I'll be taking that up with the staff next time we visit.  Which I'm hoping won't be until at least 2014.

Everyone take your place...

The first full day back to school is exciting....for the dog.

You see, he and I have had this amazing routine for years now - it started in 2007 when I started working from home - I wait for the kids to leave the house (I'll admit - I don't do mornings so hubby is the one rushing the kids around and out the door) and then I saunter downstairs and head over to his dog crate in my office, all covered with his dark sheet so he isn't disturbed by the sunlight, and let him out.

He runs to the back door ready to chase a squirrel and do his duty and then back inside for his breakfast and some conversation.  It usually sounds like this:

"Hey Bubba (although his name is Coach). Good morning. You hungry?"

He never responds.

I'll grab a quick bite, turn on the radio, sometimes rarely shower and turn on the computer to check the day's events.  He curls up right behind or next to my office chair and away we go. Routine. For hours. There are conference calls, trips to the fridge for Diet Coke refills, barking at the UPS or Postal trucks (him, not me) and lots and lots of email.

This past school year things changed a little -  there was bus duty thrown into the mix at 2:10 p.m. That usually involved barking on his behalf as I left the house to walk down the end of our street. This year, there will be trips to the school as the bus ride home is off the list.  I'm sure that will evoke the same barking that the bus exit did.

So you see, for years now at the start of the school year there is this return of "normal" for the dog. This celebration dance I'm doing right now is not for me...it's totally for him. I'm so happy his routine is back! He's not getting any younger, ya know.