Monday, May 16, 2011

Healthy fighting habits

After 18 years together my husband and I rarely fight.  We disagree about a lot of things but we don't fight. 

We had enough drama and fighting early on in our relationship to fill us up so since we've been married (11 years in August) we've been pretty cool.  Until the other day. When my hormones and motherly instincts got the best of me and I blew up.  And perhaps some profanities flew out of my mouth.  And I may have slammed a door on my way out of the house.  And I'm sure there was a noise that resembled GRRRRAAAARRRRGGH that came out of my mouth.

But given it was T-Ball night I gathered myself together, came back in the house and pushed on with our night.

And then the questions came out of Abby's mouth at the game:  "Why were you and Daddy fighting? Why were you so mad at him?"

And then it hit me. She's NEVER seen us fight - at least that I can recall. We argue but neither of us has ever left the house to cool off - or shown any real aggression towards each other.  And frankly, I'm realizing that could be a bad thing.

We aren't perfect - to say the least. We don't always get along. We are sometimes warm, sometimes cold towards each other.  But at the end of the day, we lead by example and I wonder what example we've set by not fighting at time or two?  Marriage is work - say "Hell Ya" if you know what I'm talking about.  And while I've raised my voice with the kids on couple several occasions, I rarely do it with my husband.

I'm contemplating if I should start throwing some objects across the kitchen?  Or slam more doors? Perhaps call him Poo-poo face more? And while I make light of it, I do wonder if we sometimes hold back for the sake of our kids and if that is the best choice. What do you think? Ever toss a vase across a room like in the movies?  I think I may go invest in some boxing know....for the sake of the kids.

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