Dear {insert name here}

Dear parents of the little boy skateboarding without a helmet on, down a busy road;
Where are you? Do you have any idea your 8 year old is flying down a main road with a soda in one hand and a skateboard under his feet with NO helmet or pads on? Didn't think so.


Dear roof contractor who sent the hot bodies next door to redo the roof;
If I need a new roof, can you send the same team? I love working from home.


Dear neighbor across the street;
You're NOT a roofer - leave the shirt on.


Dear neighbor who moved in but has yet to emerge after 2 months;
Are you there? Hello? Why buy a huge house by yourself and then not invite the neighbors over to see how you decorated it? Geez.


Dear little 72 year old lady down the street who had 6 empty gallons of Ernest and Julio Chablis out for recycling today;
You little minx. Who knew?!


Dear lady at Target on her cell phone who was more concerned with the details of Julie's breakup than her son darting out into the parking lot;
Do you know the parents of the 8 year old who skateboards without a helmet? Thought so.


Dear jerks who left an old car seat and all their trash from their car in the Target parking lot;
Jerks.


Dear Service Manager at Ira Lexus, Manchester, NH;
You rock! Thanks for honoring the coupon I forgot to bring with me and sending the check. Really, you rock!


Dear Target for leaving kitchen knives out for display in the housewares section;
Ahhh...Duh? Like the world needs easier access to potential weapons.


Dear Twitter;
You know what you did. And don't you dare do it again, you hear?

Grease Lightening

"It's Grease Lightening....Go Grease Lightening you're burning up the quarter mile...Grease Lightening, Go Grease Lightening."

Isn't it funny the songs that stick in your head ALL NIGHT LONG and are still there in the morning?

My husband and I had a Yard Sale last weekend. Not a very profitable one because, as a marketing professional, I failed miserably. My boss should fire me. I know better. We didn't put any signs up the night before, or at key intersections, AND we only put one at the end of our street around 9:15 after we got our lazy asses up and dragged stuff onto the driveway.

Yard Sales are a lot of work. If nothing else, I should have taken a "Learn to Speak Spanish in 60 seconds" course just so I could negotiate properly. Holy Hispanic-fest. And I can say this because I married one. If he wasn't there to be a translator, we wouldn't have sold 1/2 of what we sold. And all you Latino ladies, I love ya, but you all can't be JLo so put some damn clothes on girl - and start with a bra!

I digress.

So our Yard Sale was fun for the kids. They were in charge of kids items, and actually managed to make $10 selling old books, some rusty beach chairs, plastic pocketbooks and a few baby bikes. As we were taking items out of our garage my son kept saying, "Are you going to Yard Sale that?" So cute.

One of the fun discoveries hidden in the garage (which was why I had the Grease song in my head for days) was a box full of LP's (for those under 20, I'm not going to explain). Go figure - Michael Jackson's Thriller was in there. Cha-ching on eBay? Probably not. Madonna's Like a Virgin. Bruce Springsteen. Take a look:



Any look familiar to you? I'm sure Fairly Odd Father is shaking his head thinking "her taste back then was as bad as it is now"...but I can see how my love of Pop began. Blame it on the Monkees.

And while I didn't "Yard Sale" these, we did try to sell some of the less popular ones, without success. I mean, really, who is looking for Rock of Ages by K-tel records?? My dad contributed a bunch of CD box sets that sold like hot cakes. Who knew an 8 year old would be so excited to find a Kiss box set? And it was obvious her mother didn't have any idea who the make-up laden boys were.

You show us everything you've got
You keep on dancin' and the room gets hot
You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy
I want to rock and roll all night, and party every day!

Ahhh...those were the days. I loved them just because they had a song with my name in it "Christine Sixteen".

Overall, we unloaded some big items that were taking up space in our basement and garage. Our biggest sale was a circa. 1972 rollaway, metal bed and mattress for $8. Sometimes not being able to speak the language comes in handy...I didn't know how to say "Are you sure? It's kind of nasty."

As they say, "one person's trash is another person's treasure."

And if you are looking to educate your kids on diversity, Yard Sales are the most amazing social experiments out there.

Stranded on an island

While I repeatedly dream of being stranded on an island - with a 4 star resort conveniently located there - and no children allowed - the truth is that this post is about my kitchen island.

Or "The Dump". Because no matter how hard I try - everything gets dumped there. Mail. School projects. Broken toy bits. Receipts. Shopping lists. Bread. Moldy bread. Pens. Crayons. Headbands. Purses. Water bottles. Bug spray. Plastic jewels and Stickers.

Are you with me?

So, by some miraculous twist of fate, I decided, I need a kitchen make over. Ok...I don't need it but man it would be so nice to have more cabinet and counter space.

I know...it will just spread the island castaways across other parts of the kitchen but perhaps it won't look so cluttered then?



(Like my attempt at a fake floral display in the center, as if that would mask the clutter? Ugh.)

The kitchen redo conversation started when I happened to look to the left of that island one day and realized I had two huge kitchen windows. 5 feet high by 6 feet long. The people who owned the house before us added a family room and redid a lot of the house and must have planned on putting in a drive thru because that's the only real reason I could imagine for having so much window in the kitchen, and so little wall.



What if the lovely - albeit HUGE - windows turned into one normal size kitchen window and we put walls back up? That could hold cabinets? Like a kitchen is supposed to do? Then we could do a lot of fun stuff like move all of this out of our garage and into the kitchen, to live where the other kitchen things live (without spiders and car exhaust fumes):






What if we moved the sink under the window, where a sink is supposed to be, and I could use the space where the old sink is to make a new "island" bar for stools thus more seating? Brilliant.

So I took a quick poll on Facebook - to keep or lose the island!

Women I haven't spoken to in 20 years responded with "Keep the island", "Long Live the island", and "You are never going to actually go through with it so leave the island alone!" I actually made that last one up, because when I started adding up what it costs to put up and replace cabinets, match or choose new granite and put in a new window...let's just say it's cheaper to get a cleaning person to organize my island clutter for the next 15 years than to get a new kitchen.

I guess I'm off to clean the island - again.

Ta da! We're golden...

OK. It's done. Painting during the most humid days of the summer is NOT recommended AT ALL!

Let me know if you love it or hate it? I'm totally on the fence.

Before:



And after:





Should I go back to green? I knew it! HONEY...get the primer back out. I'm feeling green!!

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater

With the last four weeks of summer vacation upon us in the "Summer That Never Was" for most of New England, you think someone at BJ's marketing may have rethought the effectiveness of this month's circular - cuz right now, I'm ready to call BJ's and tell them where they can put their pumpkins!!

Spinning Gold

I have two modes of decision-making:

Think about it forever and do nothing.
Do it now!

There's no in between. No, "Maybe I should let this sit and revisit it next month." If I don't move on it, it doesn't happen.

So when I was sitting in the local spa a couple of weeks ago staring at the walls, (literally...my hair color was setting) I noticed something. The salon had 2 of the 3 colors in my house. Green. Maroon. The third color the owner incorporated was this mustard gold...and it looked great. I asked the receptionist Kristen if she could ask the owner if she knew the color. She said she'd let me know.

In the meant time, I kept thinking: we should do that! We could go Gold. I was sick of such a green kitchen - end to end Sage. When we moved in the walls had been painted pretty Tuscan colors and I loved all of them. But after 5 years I was done. I was tired of buying prints, vases and candles that look good with green. Gold it was!

While I waited to hear back from the salon, we went to the local Sherwin Williams store and grabbed some sample chips to hang on the wall - you have to go a few days of sun/rain/light/dark to be sure you like it.

We selected our color: Empire gold

Pretty cool, right? Imagine my surprise when I heard from Kristen who says, "I found out that color for you. Empire Gold."

Yeah, I'm good. Go ahead. You can clap. What are the odds that the color on her walls came from Sherwin Williams AND it was the one we randomly picked off some color wheel?

So off we go:




Stay tuned for the final masterpiece!

Neigh, neigh, whinny

If anyone is looking for help getting their stable or barn in order, I think I have someone I can recommend:



We are keeping Schleich in business.

Days of sweating gone by...

Remember sweating? Like really sweating? Before all offices, buildings, cars and homes had 24/7 air conditioning. The days when a big box fan would move hot air into hotter rooms but were so fun to talk into because "Hello" ended up sound like "Hebbbblllooooo".

I remember sleeping in the attic. We had a Cape style home and the attic was turned into two bedrooms for my brother and I. Guess what? Heat rises isn't a myth. And sun beating down on your roof can do wonders for the top floor of a house. But we had the trusty window fan. The metal one. That sounded like a small jet engine but when it blew air on the beads of sweat, you *almost* believed you were cool.

How about those vinyl seats in all the cars? With some sort of waffle pattern that would imprint on the back of your leg, that had just been sunburned at the beach, where you smothered yourself in baby oil and followed the suns direction from left to right all day long for the best "tan". Remember how sweaty you were on the ride home? Stuck in traffic (dare I add the "smoking cigarettes" into that scenario because that certainly helped cool me down, yes sirree).

And how about the local pizza place that served only 4 kinds of soft serve ice cream, but offered 15 different pizzas on a hot day with only a fan bolted to the corner of the wall? Nothing curbed your appetite like watching an oversized, sweaty man removing a bubbly, cheesy slice from the 600 degree oven on a summer's day!

Boy those were the days. Now, I only sweat walking from the house to the car and into the FREEZING cold grocery store. What fun is that??

Draining the reservoir

10 minutes into the routine:

"Honey, only 2 more minutes."

"Awww...I just put air conditioner in my hair."

I know she means hair conditioner. It's the disc / dicks thing. Never gets it right.

5 minutes later.

"Let's go. I said only two more minutes. What are you doing in there?"

"Awww...I just put soap on my body."

5 minutes later.

"I'm not kidding. Let's go. Out of the shower."

"Awww Man!"

This is the routine of my 6 year old in the shower. Can't seem to get in and out in under 15 minutes. What am I doing to do when she's a teenager??

Her brother - maybe lasts 60 seconds.

Keepsake Moment

Thanks Whirlwind! Your blog was the first one I ever won something on, and now you've awarded me my first award.

*blush*

I'm so honored. Now, the pressure is on!! My initial panic set in when I saw you had to pass the award on to 10 other bloggers. Sadly, since most of my waking hours are spent reading and researching blog posts for work that talk of social media marketing and text analytics, it is going to be tough to ask those bloggers to share their keepsake moments. And, I think you had most of the mommy bloggers I follow on your award list so I may have to get creative.

So, let me explain my award responsibility to the 3 family members that read my blog:

The rules of this award state that I need to tell a "keepsake moment" in my life, as well as to pass on the love to some of my fellow bloggers. That's where the "ten of them" comes in. I'll try my best, but that may delay sharing my moment as I scour the internet looking for ten new bloggers.

While many of the keepsake moments in my life could include my children, my keepsake moment has to do with family *before* children. It would be our wedding day.

Almost 9 years ago, hubby and I set out on our adventure as a married couple. I can ASSURE you I was not one of those girls at 10 years old who dreamed of her big church wedding, dressed in a big white flowy gown, releasing doves into the air with a small choir singing in the background. And while that is lovely and perfect for some...it wasn't for me.

In fact, my dress cost approx $300 and was off the rack of a small shop in Maine - no train - no fittings - little fluff. I wasn't going to get a veil but caved at the last minute - there is something princess-like about the veil.

We bypassed the church which is VERY FUNNY thinking back on that now that my daughter is in Catholic school. I just didn't want them involved in my wedding. I couldn't imagine standing, kneeling and praying for an hour. Twenty minutes, max, was my goal.

The ceremony had to happen near the ocean. We were living in Maryland at the time and I longed for the rocky shores of Maine. Turns out my Aunt graciously offered us her home and her backyard, which is beachfront in Maine, and with the help of my sweet Nana pulling some strings in heaven (she had passed 8 months before my wedding) we had a GORGEOUS beach day for a wedding.

But my keepsake moment of the day wasn't how we looked, or where we were or what the weather was that day. It was the joy. The joy inside as I held my soon-to-be-husband's hands and thought of all the ups and downs (and downs and ups) we endured that brought us to that moment. I don't think I ever really believed we'd be married. He had had his share of a marriage that didn't work, and I had decided that being an independent woman was pretty cool. But timing and fate had other plans and on that day, with our parents as our witnesses, as we repeated the words we had written for the JP, I was overcome with joy and I knew it was forever. No doubts. No fears. Just joy. It is my keepsake moment, forever. Oh, and the party that followed was pretty kick-ass if I do say so myself!



OK. Now. Ten bloggers, huh? If it's okay with you, I might change the rules a bit and tag my friends on Facebook that don't blog. I know they'd love to join in and wouldn't get a chance if I kept it to bloggers-only. Plus, I don't think I can come up with 10 new bloggers since you already awarded Chicky Baby, In the Trenches and Fairly Odd Mother. See...I'm already out of bloggers that I follow religiously :)