Friday, August 7, 2009

Dear {insert name here}

Dear parents of the little boy skateboarding without a helmet on, down a busy road;
Where are you? Do you have any idea your 8 year old is flying down a main road with a soda in one hand and a skateboard under his feet with NO helmet or pads on? Didn't think so.

Dear roof contractor who sent the hot bodies next door to redo the roof;
If I need a new roof, can you send the same team? I love working from home.

Dear neighbor across the street;
You're NOT a roofer - leave the shirt on.

Dear neighbor who moved in but has yet to emerge after 2 months;
Are you there? Hello? Why buy a huge house by yourself and then not invite the neighbors over to see how you decorated it? Geez.

Dear little 72 year old lady down the street who had 6 empty gallons of Ernest and Julio Chablis out for recycling today;
You little minx. Who knew?!

Dear lady at Target on her cell phone who was more concerned with the details of Julie's breakup than her son darting out into the parking lot;
Do you know the parents of the 8 year old who skateboards without a helmet? Thought so.

Dear jerks who left an old car seat and all their trash from their car in the Target parking lot;

Dear Service Manager at Ira Lexus, Manchester, NH;
You rock! Thanks for honoring the coupon I forgot to bring with me and sending the check. Really, you rock!

Dear Target for leaving kitchen knives out for display in the housewares section;
Ahhh...Duh? Like the world needs easier access to potential weapons.

Dear Twitter;
You know what you did. And don't you dare do it again, you hear?


Fairly Odd Mother said...

Great list! And, Twitter---shaking fists in the air.

I'm impressed that you liked your roofers. Mine made me want to lock my windows and doors and sit in a corner holding a baseball bat.

Julie B said...

Oh, I have one:

Dear parent of that 3 & 4 year old running down the street alone, Haven't you ever seen the side of a milk carton? A 4 year old is not old enough to watch a 3 year old.