Dear Playskool

Dear Playskool,

I hope you are well. I'm not. I just wanted to drop you a note to let you know I hate Play-doh. I'm sorry but I think it sucks. I understand it can be used to help children discover their inner artist, but in my house it is used simply to ruin my rugs, furniture and send me in an absolute tizzy. The kids no longer enjoy playing with it because when I see the mess it has created all over the playroom and on their clothes, I usually turn into the raging lunatic you used to see on After School Specials about multiple personality mothers.


I looked at the recommended age group for Play-doh and the package says 2+. Age 2+ my ass - I have a 4 year old and a 6 year old and, unless supervised, they have no idea that Play-doh is used to create masterpieces, not to be mixed together into one huge blob of color and then left out to dry into little wads of crusty dough that stick to my rugs, couches and under my fingernails when I'm on my hands and knees trying to scrape it off the floor.

What your package should say is: Age 2+ when used on the kitchen table, without any carpet underneath, and under close adult supervision to be sure the pretty teal Play-doh does not turn into a puke brown color when mixed into a huge ball with purple Play-doh.

Oh, and apparently the dog finds it tasty because he tends to eat the dried up crusty balls of Play-doh and something tells me that just can't be healthy.

So while I appreciate your effort to turn my children into master sculptors and artistic geniuses, I've taken the Play-doh away for now and maybe when they are 12 and 14 years old, I'll let them use it again, unsupervised - because when put back in the container, that stuff does last forever. Kudos on that.

Sincerely,
Play-doh Hater