Dear Mr. Alien,
I'm not sure when you arrived...It could have been Friday night because I think I was a little distracted, but I have a favor to ask. Will you please return my son to me? Saturday morning this creature appeared at the local street fair with me and I'm not quite sure who he is - but I know he's not mine. My son would never scream "No!" in his mother's face, over and over again so that everyone within 5 miles could hear him. He'd never scream so loud in a restaurant that my ears hurt and my faced turned red from humiliation as he refused to take a bite of his lunch.
My son NEVER dropped to the ground and refused to walk to the car when I told him it was time to go home. And there is no way he'd pour a bottle of baby powder all over his bed and himself when he was supposed to be tucked in, sound asleep.
Please Mr. Alien, give me back my child and you can take this alien creature back with you. What's that you say? He's not yours either? He's just a 3 year old boy? OK - I guess I'll have to see what happens when he hits 4 - if he makes it that far.