Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?

And afraid of the flu mist nasal spray. And of having her teeth cleaned. And washing her hair at Snip-Its. And trying new foods. And bumble bees (ok, I'll give her that one since one got stuck in her curly locks this summer). But I'm at my wits end on trying to find ways to convince my daughter that everything will be OKAY and Dr's and dentists and hair stylists aren't out to hurt her!

We went to the Dr's the other day for the flu shot. They offered us the nose spray. Fantastic! Nope. It's new. Wasn't going to do it. So I asked her if she wanted a shot instead. Nope. Not having any of it. So we flipped a coin to see if she would go first or her brother. Little man won (or lost?) and so he went first. Spritz up one nostril. Spritz up the other. Done.

Her turn. Hands over face. Tears. Screaming. Hiding her head in my arm pit. Kicking. More tears. No matter how hard we tried to tell her the nasal spray was better than the shot, she wasn't doing it. So, after 10 mins of pleading, begging and trying to bribe her, we had to hold her down. It's exhausting and it's ridiculous.

Then, today was another attempt at a teeth cleaning. We went to the dentist all cheery and ready to go. I told her she had to have her teeth counted so they could let the tooth fairy know how many teeth she had. OK, counting went great. Hygienist introduces the cool, spinning toothbrush and that was it. Tears. I asked if she wanted to hold my hand. Nope. Do you want me in the room? Nope. I leave. I listen. Hygienist is sweet as pie. She would not sit back in the chair and give it a try. I come back in and she's done. She won't get her fingers out of her mouth and she's not going to cooperate. I just don't get it.

Her brother hops up next. Counts teeth. Gets plaque removed. Gets brushed, flossed and fluoride treatment. Off he goes with a big grin and a new toothbrush and prize. We asked her if she wanted a new toothbrush and she said,

"No. Because I didn't let her clean my teeth."

So she understand consequence, I'll give her that. I am going to try again in Feb since they won't charge us for her visit today but I really need to understand where the anxiety comes from, and how I can get her past it. It hurts me on all levels, and then it just pisses me off. Then, there are things like the first day at a new school that I think are going to devastate her and after the 3rd day she's telling my husband just to drop her off and stop hanging out in the parking lot with her. Is this my kid??

Sigh. Pinot Grigio, take me away....