Things I learned in Driver's Ed

Dear Random Driver,

Here are a few things I learned in my Driver's Ed class that I wanted to share with you because obviously you got jipped from the place you went since you don't seem to know any of this:

1. When you see a sign that shows the right lane ending, and then the right lane ends, that means you no longer have a lane and you should probably look in your side mirror to see if I'm next to you on the left before you come on over. I'll repeat: YOUR lane ended, not mine. I've been there the whole time.

2. There's a little stick attached to your driving column (that's the steering wheel) and it makes those little lights on the front and back of your car flash so I know when you want to move from side to side. In fact, this little stick can be put on and off with your left hand pinkie - genius. You don't even need to take your hands off the steering wheel, assuming you have them on your steering wheel and not on your iPod, cell phone, CD player, Blackberry or waving aimlessly at the person on the other end of the cell phone! Use the little stick!

3. When you find yourself on the highway and you see me coming up on the left, if you decide to pull out in front of me, you are going to want to be sure you are going FASTER than me. It's funny, but things in motion, stay in motion, so if you suddenly pull out in front of me and go SLOWER than me, there is a good chance I'll be up your ass in no time. Things in motion...nevermind.

4. Red means stop. Red means stop. Red means stop.

Thanks,
The other driver on the road